M-m-m-mild to the b-b-b-bone

I was an inner city average white girl, but there was one night I wanted to be notorious.  Yes, maybe “Notorious AWG” — though there was no cool coolness about the ‘hood back in the day — plus, I was sickly and Toni-permed up until I was 15…

I’d wanted to steal a car shortly after that ridiculous milestone.

Just to be bad. It would’ve been a convertible — just to be outrageously bad.

I was that tired of being good. Tired of being poor, stiffed, dismissed, unfeared but worse, disrespected; tired of being limited, tired of being stopped at every edge of every dream, and tired of being me.

Then, the pilfered Schlitz wore off past the teenaged crying jag — but the pain of being trapped was real. I talked it over with someone who wasn’t about to stop me. As usual, I stopped me.  Total loser. (Plus, there were no convertibles anywhere near my neighborhood, and I would need some car thief to hotwire it for me.  A lose-lose night entirely.)

We do have what it takes to break out. One doesn’t have to be bad to be badass. Should anyone think of stealing a car (or a Schlitz, or worse… well, there’s nothing worse than Schlitz), or thinking of stealing one’s own life or one’s own future, one must keep thinking.  Answers come. They just need time and hope. Find someone with hope — be it Jesus or Grandma or the butcher (all of whom understand feeling trapped) — and stay close and open to suggestions until you are your own hope-ster.

There is no point in stealing anything, nor in harming or ruining life.  You can have life properly, even abundantly, if you think first. It takes a little time… and zero Schlitz.

.

 

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11 thoughts on “M-m-m-mild to the b-b-b-bone

  1. loisajay says:

    Wonderful post!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Really awesome! I love how you connected this in a wonderful way.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. jackcollier7 says:

    beautiful, poignant, meaningful, sad ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  4. “One doesn’t have to be bad to be badass.”
    This ^^^ needs to go on a T-shirt.
    You are one of those angels, aren’t you? One of those guiding angels, who sits on our shoulder and whispers and nudges and urges. One of the good ones. I’m honoured to know you. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Gail says:

    Well, I’ve always heard that 15 is a very hard age for girls and you just convinced me of that! It is a very hard age and when rebellion seems to hit strong.
    I am glad YOU stopped you and that wisdom came before it was too late.
    I just finished the book, Grace For the Good Girl by Emily Freeman which talks about all the masks that Good Girls try to hide behind. An interesting read indeed! And then here is your post today!

    Loved this!

    Liked by 1 person

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