She had over the years paid less and less homage to man and more to God to Whom it has always and solely been due. One must respect others as one wishes to be respected, but homage is a singular debt owed only to God.

She just needed to write that 499 more times, now, on this whiteboard. It was indeed the truth, but her mother/family had somewhat unwittingly raised her to be such that her presence or input should never once cause anyone trouble — paint them as not-good tenants, not-good neighbors, or paint her a not-good patient, not-good student, not-good offspring, not-good penitent. Indeed, the other lung of being invisible/silent, when forced to be seen and to speak, ends up paying homage where it’s not due. It leaves a metallic taste in the psyche, and leaves God out in the cold.

Only God has ever truly had her back. Thankfully, there were people who would’ve died for her, who did indeed fight for her –and won, but only God knew her, yet still pre-emptively died for her. And rose for her sake. And prepares a place for her, should she perhaps be successfully keel-hauled by an overworked angel (and/or by offerings for sinners) to where He is.

Since then, He has known exactly what would serve His servant best, and exactly how she would fight it. He has hope for her cooperation, but He settles for her 3 p.m. homage. And her 3 a.m. homage. And any kindness and generosity and mercy, in His likeness, that she can scare up in between. He presses no surrender, unless it otherwise means death to her soul (or another’s). He loves her forever and at all times. Loves her like His very Own. Only His love is due true homage.



8 thoughts on “Grandeur

  1. loisajay says:

    Carol–you write like no other. I love this.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Gail says:

    Oh this…. This is really beautiful.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ann Coleman says:

    You are a very talented writer…I’m going to be thinking about this one for a while!

    Liked by 1 person

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